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Apr. 10th, 2015

I give up

"They must learn to love themselves ... then let them talk of salvation."

It truly is a comforting thing to come back to the familiar ... like returning back to the Gallery after years of being away ... and it's been so long. Not from Vendetta, no ... but from sanity and reason.

I'm sorry ...

I'm sorry for having taken it so personal, for having taken it too deeply ... It made me crazy for it and in my love, I sinned, I fell ...

I lost sight of what it all really was -- just words on a page, visuals on a screen -- characters created to entertain.

Again, I'm sorry ..

... I just hope that you can forgive me.

I still create, I still write, I still edit ... I have some new things to share and I would like to ... but not yet. But I know, now, that it is not me. I still love the story and the couple, but I know my place now and I know who I am and what I am.

Sep. 8th, 2010

Signifying Nothing

Together, we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot!

I don't think I can adequately put down into words just exactly what I'm feeling and what the coming months shall bring.

They could kick me out of the university or at worse, the coppers (Fingermen), seemingly emerging straight out of the pages of the graphic novel, may just find a very stubborn and extremely irate terrorist on their hands and will have no other choice but to shoot to kill.

I am lacking in so many areas -- as some of you know, having seen me in all my glaring flaws. But what I lack in physicality, I make up for in spirit. I do not wear the mask to hide behind. I wear it to evoke the truth within myself. Wearing the raiment, this is me -- this is who I am and who I'll still be when I walk away from here.

I had a dream last night, and I feel it's a sign of things to come. V is in all of us -- he's you and me and it becomes our choice to put on the mask and do what is *necessary* for the good of Justice and Truth. Good will always vanquish evil, knowledge will always prevail over ignorance. And sometimes, one must be detached from all morality in order to destory evil with evil. Through out the dream, the letter V was a motif, seemingly everywhere, catching my eye and how it burns in my soul. It never felt more right. And though I desire Evey so fervently, I cannot turn away from the responsibilities of this vocation.

I have a vision, my friends, a very vehemently vivacious vision that will implore all the help that I can recieve.

I am trying my hardest to make this fifth Fifth my most memorable one that I've ever had. Oooh, the irony. Dressing up in my raiment and wandering around campus does not do it for me anymore. I want to make it an event -- and what once was an innocent gathering, has now grown insurmountably in my head that will call upon the help of friends and strangers alike!

My beloved movie was never mainstream. That's both a blessing and a curse. Good, because it weeds out the stupid and simple minded prats and sparrows from picking it up today and dropping it tomorrow. It's too good for them. But then again, even those claiming to have loved it faithfully have forgotten anyway. A betrayal that is unforgivable. But I will take it upon myself to shove it to the vanguard!

My only regret in this life is that I never got to see it in the theaters. The Student Center auditorium will be the closest I will come to it. And what's more -- Vendetta wasn't even shown in theaters on the Fifth of November ... but on March 17'th. September -- two months in advance -- the logistics are clearly there. The pieces perfectly aligned and all one has to do is tip the dominoes over. This is Fate calling! Destiny beckons!

But nothing worth doing ever comes easy.

And this heinous system is proving incredibly difficult.

Rights and legalities are called into play -- but that's cleared up for they've played the movie before -- years ago anyway. They are knowingly denying me this right. There's no reason for it!

Talking to this bloke, he said that they played it last year. No. No, they didn't. Or if they did, it was incredibly poor advertisement because I am extremely vigiliant for things concerning my movie and I practically live in the Student Center, so I damn sure would've known if my beloved movie was playing in the auditorium. But it wasn't. And why the hell would you play the damned movie in March anyway?! The Fifth is on a Friday!!! A perfect time to play it. But he was pretty adament about denying my request.

His reasonings were that not many people came and that it was an older movie. Bollocks! If the movie was played (which I don't believe in the slightest that it was), it was extremely poor advertisement on their part.

He directed me to someone else who began to direct me to another person -- that bloody looping game that they so like to play when they don't have an answer for something and want to shove it off on someone else. The woman was nicer about it and directed me to a Mr. Costanzo. He wasn't in but I left him a message. I pray he gets back to me.

But if all else fails ... then I will take it upon myself to do what needs to be done. I will buy as many masks, hats, and cloaks as is needed, I will draw up posters, start a petition -- and I will have my beloved 1812 Overture blast from the loud speakers outside and everyone will dress in like-regalia and stand, shoulder-to-shoulder outside the Student Center and show those god damned prats that V for Vendetta was and will always be worth showing -- on the day that it was meant to be shown!!

Together, we can move mountains. And this, my friends, is only the beginning.

Dec. 13th, 2008

early morning raiment

Happy Holidays and a Merry Christmas.